Tragic Kingdom

 The scariest part of the entire story is the fact most of it is true.  The story wrote itself because I heard it told over and over from a lot of people. My great grandparents lived through that disgusting nightmare.

My granny said she got up one morning to cook breakfast and put on her apron in the dark.  As she was tying the back of the apron she felt something wiggling around in the front pocket. When she reached inside the pocket a mouse ran up her arm and straight into her hair. This occurred at 5 o'clock in the morning.

You can imagine how that went.  

She was born in 1890 and people were much different back then but I'm sure this was one of the toughest challenges she ever faced.  When a mouse runs up your arm to build a nest in your hair you're gonna freak out. 

Those people were so tough compared to the 21st century if mice invaded today how would people react?

It'd be pandemonium there would be people jumping out of windows rather than face a fucking mouse.  That's how they'd react. 

Hopefully not, but I can hear them now, howling in the night, driven mad by a mouse.  

Look at Florida there's a whole bunch of lunatics over there who were driven insane by a fucking mouse.

This is serious.   

When they said follow the money this guy went straight to the top and declared war on the biggest mouse of all, Mickey. 

Balls...

From his hollow mountain the mouse lords over his evil empire and the public knows him as Mickey, but behind the scenes he's really Mickey "Cohen" Mouse.  He demands to be called Mr. Cohen in private or he will cut your fucking eye out.  Rumor has it, years ago, back home in California Mr. Mouse once insulted a certain lawyer guy who is now running for president.  Now hes gonna use the law to break up the mouse rackets. Mr. Mouse moved his operation to a place with a friendly government, now they ain't so friendly, and to add insult to injury this lawyer guy keeps calling him Mickey Mouse...