From chaos a new order

 There were times over the past five years when I was afraid, but after a while, that fades and mainly manifests itself as anger.  Anger manifests itself as chaos, and when you get to the root causes of your problems its easier to deal with. 

With that written,  I'm through with Chaos.  It's exhausting.  This is why I'm a loner.  On some days, all I know to do is copy scripture from the bible to soothe my soul.  My parents taught me to do this when I was a lad.  

Matthew 18:3. The message

For an answer, Jesus called over a child who stood in the middle of the room and said, "I'm telling you once and for all that unless you return to square one like children, you're not even going to get a look at the kingdom, let alone get in. Whoever becomes simple and elemental again, like this child, will rank high in God's kingdom.  What's more, when you receive the childlike on my aqccount its the same as receiving me." 

Matthew 11:28-30. The message

Are you tired?  Worn out?  Burned out on religion?  Come to me.  Get away with me and recover your life.  I'll show you how to get a real rest.  Walk with me and work with me-watch how I do it.  Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.  Keep company with me, and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.  

For me, that translation makes the scripture come alive.  Its such a great translation and very close to the original language translated into modern English.  

I'm not trying to live like some fanatic, and that's not what Jesus recommends when he says the unforced rhythms of grace.  Its a gentle calling of my spirit, longing to read the scriptures that give me hope through the renewing of my mind.  It's called meditation, and I will never run out of hope thanks to the lord.  That's the truth.  There is nothing in this world that can take that away from me, no matter how chaotic it gets.  Only God is entitled to the power of life and death; my life is not my own.  That's why I don't want to be a horrible example or a terrible warning or whatever....because I'm not.  

Spoiler alert:  I read the end of the book!  God wins.